justmakemoney | INBOX; Penance

Hey. It's me. You remember that King Arthur's Court-looking young guy you talked to?

Edited 2022-11-17 23:06 (UTC)

[Oh boy. Why, if it isn't his absolute favorite client in all of the afterlife (and totally not a message that made him almost jump when seeing it, not at all).]

He's a hard guy to forget. Is he a friend of yours?

If he asks, Varga’s my cousin. Got it?

[ This comes a few minutes later. You can hear the self-satisfied tone through text, somehow. ]

Oh, and I told him that you’re our King or President or whatever, so he should listen to you. You can thank me later. Anyway, say hello to the missus for me. ;)

[A few more minutes after the last one, there’s yet another. ]

Hey. So what exactly do you know about this guy anyway?

[...........okay so it's not that he didn't expect Lalo to get into some shit while in hell, but like. What have you dragged them all into, Lalo.]

Ignacio's your cousin, got it. And I'm glad you're that satisfied with my representation.

[but as your lawyer: what the fuck, is what he wants to say. But he doesn't.]

He's very dedicated to his Medieval Times schtick, so I'm inclined to believe it's not an act.

[He's reluctant to share most actual important information with Lalo, sure, but this is something insignificant and he can't see what harm sharing information like this would be.]

[ These texts come later. Much later. 3am later. Lalo has shit to do in Hell, apparently.

The texts also come right after the other in short bursts. ]

Yeah, that’s what I figured.

[ Another text. ]

At first I thought he was one of those weird sad virgins, but I don’t think so.

[ Another text. ]

Think he’s legit.

[ ANOTHER text. ]

Anyway, you get some shuteye. Enjoy room # [ whatever room number Jimmy and Kim are in in the castle!! ]!

[ Threat? No, it’s not a threat! Saul is easiest to control when he’s kind of scared of you, but that doesn’t make it a threat. Jeez. ]

[of course lalo knows where they are. of course. that urge to just move rooms every single night until they all disappear or repent or whatever is right back in full force, because that's all he can think to do with lalo here. Because that's totally realistic and will totally work out just fine!]

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

[ Sorry, was that a little scared of you?

More like a lot scared of you. More like deathly scared of you in a place where almost no one is actually dead, scared of you. More like you-are-the-thing-that-goes-bump-in-the-night-for-him scared of you.

Saul is easiest to manage when he’s petrified of you. Truthfully, Lalo has no intention of visiting Saul again any time soon, but he needs Saul to know it’s within his abilities. That he knows where Saul is, or at least where he sleeps at night, and could show up there at any time.

Of course, neither of them needs him to say as much out loud, and it’s better if they never do. Which might be part of why Saul gets only one final cryptic text to decipher. ]

👍

[ There! Nothing but a harmless emote. …Right? ]

Hey. You busy?

Idle hands are the devil's tools.
Maybe not the best proverb here, though.

[This is a lie, mostly. He thinks he's busy, but he really doesn't do much more than the lazing around he does half of the time his office is open.]

You need something?

(Not-so-?)Fun fact: there are people who will swear up and down that saying is about jacking it.

[ Jane sucks in a deep breath, her fingers trembling as she types her next message. ]

Just somebody to talk to. I figure a lawyer is like, the next best thing to a shrink here, right? But if you're busy we can talk another time.

And if those types spent more time actually jacking it, instead of worrying about other people, imagine how much better the world would be!

I can make time. Just so you know, there's a nonzero number of people rolling in their graves at the idea of me being anywhere close to a shrink.

[But honestly over the twoish years with Walt and Jesse, he's been everything from a lawyer to a babysitter to a marriage counsellor. Clearly he should branch out.]

Edited 2022-11-27 04:26 (UTC)

Yeah? Well, maybe those people suck. Just a thought. Thanks Saul. Where are you right now? I can meet you there. If you want.

Looking for a place to eat that doesn't serve live birds in a pie. Harder than one would think, apparently.

[He sends the name of whatever tavern down in town he's on his way to, whether or not they serve birds in a pie, well, that's a different matter. By the time Jane is down there, he's not hard to spot in his gaudy suit speaking insistently with a demon to try and get the point across that he really doesn't want anything still moving in his food.]

[ Saul sticks out immediately when Jane saunters into the tavern. Between the gaudy suits and the comb over, even in Hell, there's no one half so recognizable. She slides up next to him where he's talking to the demon, and waits until she can get a word in edgewise.

Then she turns to the demon. ]

Uh. Just two fruit pies. Thanks. [ She holds up a 'two' symbol with her hand. When the demon leaves to get their food, she turns to Saul with a small smile. ] I had to learn it the hard way too, but the fruit ones are the ones that don't have anything still alive in them.

[ Then she looks down at the bar. The atmosphere around her turns suddenly awkward; or at least it feels awkward to her. The blush on her cheeks is faint, but visible. ]

So. Uh. How are you?

Edited 2022-11-27 05:48 (UTC)

[How is he? Well, that's complicated, as always. How can one be when they're in hell with both their worst nightmare and their ex wife who left because of said nightmare here, with no real way to protect her?

But that's too heavy for the moment, and Jane is the one that wants to talk about problems, so his own worries are for no one but him. So instead, he shrugs before clasping his hands together.]

Truthfully I've been better. But look on the bright side: we're on land now. No risks of falling overboard here.

[well it's not a lie, at least. Awkward moment on Jane's side or not, he's good at overcoming those awkward conversational lulls. Talking and getting other people to talk is his job, after all.]

And you? You and Pinkman been being good model citizens on their best behavior?

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> Action!

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